I couldn't believe the news when I saw that my two best friends, Pudding and Pine, were captured by that evil bitch Evila! And her desire to get me to be with her in exchange for their safety was bullshit! Not because I didn't want them to be safe, but I wasn't about to give in to her without a fight. I snuck onto her spaceship when she wasn't looking and untied my friends, and then set my sights on Evila. Actually, we were planning on setting more than our sights.....
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